Filed under: Ken's Counseling Tips | Tags: family, funny, healing, humor, laugther, marriage, relationships
OcotobOctober 4, 2011!
Have you evernoticed the effect of laughter in our lives?
The baby playing peekaboo soon learns to giggle and suddenly everyone around him laughs out loud. The 5 year old whose Father playfully chases her through the house while playing ‘monster” shrieks with laughter for the joy of pretending to be scared. As humans grow from cute grade-schoolers to snarly teenagers on their path to adulthood, play is one of the things that can create and reinforce the bonds of our relationships, our creativity to adapt to new situations and facilitate emotional and spiritual growth. Play allows us to discover different parts of ourselves that are normally hidden and helps us gain confidence in our risk taking. It is so essential that somehuman development specialists have claimed that without play, humans and many animals would perish. I would say the same thing about a marriage partnership, play is essential to our wellbeing and laughter can actually heal many of our relational stresses.
I recently met theauthors of a new book on this subject while signing books at a National AAMFT Conference. Consequently I’ve been enjoying reading “We’re No Fun Anymore, Helping Couples Cultivate Joyful Marriages Through the Power of Play,” by Robert Schwartz and Elaine Braff, whichhas some interesting things to say about the power of play in relationships.
For instance, in grammarschool, studies have indicated that children may often laugh up to 400 times a day! But when they become teenagers who hear the adults around them suggesting they grow up , the new message given is that work has become the highest value, rather than play. How many times do kids here adults saying…” O grow up.. or “That behavior is SO childish.” And somewhere along the line the drive to play takes a dive, and laughter diminishes to the point that by adulthood we average about 15 laughs a day. It may be normative, but it strikes me as something sad and not all that healthy.
Laughter can increases our sense of well-being, and overall health. Our mirror neurons affect each greatly so that when my partner laughs or cracks a joke, it prompts my body to secret oxytocin (which is the same chemical released when making love) which in turn boosts my immune system, decreases my stress levels, and promotes the longevity not only of my marriage, but of my life.
So laugh a bit more, tease in good taste and if you need a jump start, watch this 12 second video guaranteed to make you smile. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwI7gXp30lY
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